If it goes, I let it go.

If it comes, I let it come.
If it goes, I let it go.
If it stays, I let it stay.

That note was on my floor this morning. I have no idea how it got there.

I was sitting at my desk thinking about where I am in life. The financial patterns I seem to repeat year after year after year. Beating myself up because I can’t seem to get it ‘right.’ Wondering how I got here again, and also knowing that I know exactly how I got here again.

I’m feeling a little stuck right now. In between choosing teaching and coaching, between living a life that feels deeply fulfilling and living a life that makes sense financially. It so often feels like we have to choose.

The internet tells us we can have it all. Energy. Frequency. Prayer. Wealth. Happiness. Rise from the ashes. Build the empire. Manifest the dream.

And I do see people doing it! I see them creating wealth, changing their lives and saying we can too. So I ask myself, are our patterns so ingrained that we can’t break them? Or is there some sort of luck others have while we keep looping the same lessons?

The energy of those thoughts felt low this morning. Then I got curious.

I started asking better questions and almost immediately felt annoyed because I’ve been here before. Asking the same damn questions, making the same changes and then finding myself back here again.

So what actually needs to change? Not the surface stuff. Not the new planner or the new strategy. What needs to shift for me to truly build the business, create financial security, believe in myself, in God, in love, in faith?

How do we allow life to surprise us? How do we trust that God may have designed something more magical than anything we could force on our own?

When I first read that note, it felt heavy, not inspiring. It felt like giving up, like I don’t have much of a say. Like no matter what I do, I’ll end up back in this same pattern trying to make the best of it.

I’ve been staring at it, trying to change the meaning. Make it lighter, maybe that’s the control in me.

But maybe it isn’t about giving up.

Maybe it’s surrender.

If it comes, I let it come.
If it goes, I let it go.
If it stays, I let it stay.

There’s peace in that. It doesn’t mean I stop taking action, it means I stop fighting reality. I learn when to release and when to keep going.

I still book the photoshoot.
I still hire the financial manager.
I still open the bank account.

I take the step.

And if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay too.

People love to say don’t have a backup plan. That’s great for those with unshakeable faith. I’m not there yet. What I do have is willingness and I’m taking steps. I’m trusting God one breath at a time, one decision at a time.

Choosing differently.

Choosing the woman I want to be instead of the one who feels defeated today.

I’m not writing this for support or encouragement. Just honesty. Not every day is not roses. The internet might make it look like we all have it together, but we’re all just doing the best we can with what we know.

And each day, we get another chance to be a little braver than we were yesterday.

That’s today’s word.