What Does it Mean to LOVE Yourself?

What Does It Mean to Love Yourself?

‘Self-love’ gets thrown around constantly, it’s on mugs, instagram captions and wellness posts, but what does it actually mean in real life?

Recently, I asked a friend a simple question: What does self love really mean, and how do we practice it?

He said: Most of us aren’t in love with ourselves, we’re just living with ourselves.

He described it like this: imagine your relationship with yourself as a roommate situation, a roommate you don’t really like, you avoid spending time with them, you talk to them passive aggressively, you’re impatient, critical, and dismissive and worst of all you don’t exactly enjoy their company.

That image felt uncomfortably familiar.

So many of us move through life like that, coexisting with ourselves, but not truly caring for, respecting, or enjoying who we are.

We think self love means bubble baths, flowers, or buying something new, and sometimes it does, but it goes much deeper than that.

Self love can look like waking up and trusting that you’ll move your body today, not perfectly, but intentionally.

It can look like choosing food that nourishes you because you care about how you feel, not because you’re trying to fix yourself.

It can look like lying down at the end of the day feeling proud of the person you’re becoming, even if the day wasn’t flawless.

That is self love.

It’s not about becoming a different version of yourself. It’s not about finally getting it together while everyone else seems to have it figured out. You are not broken. You’re just learning what works for you, and that’s normal.

Real self love shows up in the way we talk to ourselves when things feel hard. It’s built through small promises we keep, through learning to trust ourselves again. Through showing up imperfectly and still choosing to acknowledge the effort.

Fueling your body with nourishing food. Moving in ways that support you. Celebrating progress instead of waiting for perfection. Treating yourself with compassion instead of criticism. These are all acts of self love.

And maybe the deeper work is this: learning to fall back in love with yourself.

Not overnight and not all at once, but slowly and intentionally.

Falling in love with yourself means becoming someone you actually want to spend time with, someone you treat fairly and someone you speak to kindly.

It might look like taking yourself out for coffee, cooking a meal just for you and sitting down to enjoy it, signing up for something that lights you up, or simply allowing yourself to be alone without distraction.

It’s learning what you like. What fills you up. What makes you feel steady and alive.

This isn’t a one and done moment. It’s a practice and a relationship you continue to build over time. Progress, not perfection. Curiosity instead of judgment.

So here’s a question worth sitting with:

What is one small thing you’ve done or would like to do, to start loving the roommate you’ve lived with your entire life?

That’s where self-love actually begins.